At school one morning the teacher asked little Johnny what he had for breakfast. Little Johnny said, well, on my way to school I come cross this Apple tree, so I climbed up there and started eating apples. I guess I eat about six, said little Johnny. No, said the teacher, it’s ate! Little Johnny said well it could've been eight I don't remember.


Apples for breakfastAt school one morning the teacher...Hudo, before 7 year9.871 view6 comments
one day little johnny wanted to go toilet so he went. as he was going there he went past his dads room he saw his dads cover moving and said "dad what are you doing?" his dad said "i'm playing cards" johnny said "with who?" he replied with ur mum. anyway as he was going back to his room and went past his sisters room and saw her covers moving and asked the same thing. his sister replied "i'm playing cards with my boyfriend". his dad walked past johnny's room 2hrs later to go downstairs and saw johnny's covers moving and said "what are you doing?"johnny replied i'm playing cards" "how?" said his dad. johnny replied "if you have a good hand you don't need anyone to play with!"


little johnny boy playing cards!!!one day little johnny wanted to go...chloegillingham10, before 9 year8.400 views9 comments
A lawyer died and was delivered into the devil's hands. "You will be spending eternity here, but I'll let you pick your own room from three I'll show you," the devil said.

In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. "I don't like that," said the man. "Show me the second."

In the second room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. "Well, that's better than brick," the man said, "but show me the third."

In the third, thousands of people were standing ankle-deep in a room full of maggot infested garbage, all drinking coffee.

"I'll choose this room," he said.

Into the room he went and the door slammed behind him.

Immediately, the voice of a minor demon rang out, "OK, coffee break is over, back on your heads."


Lawyer in hellA lawyer died and was delivered, before 7 year12.349 views6 comments
During a ride in a taxicab, the rider touched the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

Upon the touch, the cab driver flinched, screamed, then went into a panic and almost wrecked the cab. Finally the driver got control and pulled to side of road.

Still shaking, he turned to his rider and apologized. He said, "Sorry about that. This is my first day as a cab driver. For the past 20 years I have driven a hearse".


Taxi Driver's First Day on the JobDuring a ride in a taxicab, the, before 7 year13.051 view9 comments
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any cop from Houston. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense.

Deputy says, "License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What for?"
Deputy says, " You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."
Deputy says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?


Slow down or stopA lawyer runs a stop sign and, before 7 year16.243 views10 comments
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately , there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."


The smartest man in the worldA doctor, a lawyer, a little boy, before 7 year15.002 views15 comments
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."

The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"

"What did he say? What's he want?"

His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."


Urine sampleAn old man goes to the doctor for, before 8 year11.246 views5 comments
a divorce lawyer reported to his client that after lengthy negotiations with her estranged husband, they'd finally reached a settlement. he told her, "i think you'll find it's entirely fair to both you and uyour husband."
 "fair to both of us?!" she exploded. "i could have done that on my own. why do you think i hired a lawyer?"


Laughing at the lawa divorce lawyer reported to his...Leana Strahorn, before 9 year2.445 views0 comments
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