Animal

Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting."

So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there."

Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?" Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says, "I don't believe it where did you get that dog? There really are only two ducks out there!"

Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too."

So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has. The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in it's mouth and starts humping Earl's leg.

Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a fraud. I want my money back!"

The breeder asks Earl what the dog did. So Earl tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in its mouth and started humping his leg.

The breeder says, "Earl, all he was trying to tell you was that there are more fucking ducks out there than you can shake a stick at!"

Teacher: What does a fat chicken give you?
Student: Eggs!
Teacher: Wonderful! What does a fat pig give you?
Student: Bacon!
Teacher: Excellent! Now, what does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!

There was a turtle and a hare. The turtle said: Want to see who can get home the fastest? The rabbit scoffed and said: You're on.
The turtle started the race, and won. The rabbit didn't even go five feet when he saw the turtle was already at home.

What Mouse Walks On 2 Legs?
Friend~ Donno
answer~Mickey Mouse
What Duck Walks on 2 Legs?
Friend~Donald Duck
answer~All Ducks!!!!!
     
                    ¬.¬

One day, Sulleen brought her cat, MunchiKin, to visit Lorail and MunchiKin decided to chat with Lorail's cat, Perkiki.

"Hows' your human?" MunchiKin asked. "She's fine," Perkiki answered. "How's your's?" "Pretty good," MunchiKin replied. "She keeps feeding me fart pellets."

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter.... First Woman : "My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me. Second Woman : "I know..." First Woman : "How?" Second Woman : "My dog told me."

What's a blood sucking vampires favorite animal?


A giraffe!

Three men with their dogs were stranded in a desert. They decided to have a competition to see which dog could go the furthest without pooing. The first man went and his dog pooed a 1/4 of the way. The next man's dog pooed 1/2 way. The third man's dog made it the whole way. When the other two men got to the other side of the desert they asked the man- "how did your dog make it the whole way?"
The man replied- "Me no stupid me no dumb me shove corkey up dogs bum,"