Similar jokes: river walk

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" To which she replied "Probably that I married you for your money."

A blonde and her father were out boat-fishing. They caught so much fish that the boat could not stand the weight, so it began to leak. "Oh no!" exclaims the blonde's father. "Our boat has a leak under the seat! We have to do something or we're going to drown!" The blonde looks up. "Make another leak, stupid," she tells her father. "The water will go out of that hole."

Once there were three boys: Trouble, Shutup, and Manners. One day, Trouble went missing. Shutup and Manners decided to look for him. They came to the police station, but Manners got shy and stayed outside while Shutup entered the station. A cop walked over to him and asked, "What's your name?" "Shutup," answered Shutup. "Where's your manners?" Demanded the officer. "Outside." Furious, the cop growled, "Are you looking for trouble?" "Yes." replied Shutup.

Ronnie, McAllen, Jimmy, Bobby and Steve lived together with their mother. One day, Jimmy called his mom. "Mom!" he shouted. His mother came running. "What's wrong, sweetie?" she asked. "I flushed a bomb down the toilet," he replied. At the same moment, a loud crackle came from the bathroom. His mom ran to fix the toilet. Fortuantely, there where still 7 bathrooms left, and 6 more bombs. The next day, Ronnie wailed, "Mommy! I flushed a bomb down the toilet!" And so his mother darted towards the second bathroom and fixed it. The day after, McAllen screamed, "Mom! I flushed a bomb down the toilet!" His mother slapped her face with her hand, but still rushed towards the restroom and fixed it again. After that day, Steve hollered, "Mommy! I flushed a bomb down the toilet!" And the poor mother sped to the bathroom and fixed it.

A day later, Bobby yelled, "Mommy!" His mother hurried towards him, sweat dripping from her forehead. "What is it, honey? Don't tell me you flushed a bomb down the toilet." "No mommy." Bobby said, smiling. "A fly caught a spider and I tried to get the fly and I fell and burped and the cat barked and farted up the tree and the dog meowed and puked and ran to the middle of the road and got crushed by a Jeep."

A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother’s, and asked her why.

She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."

The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger "units" than his dad.

His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.

Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly told his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."

one day little johnny wanted to go toilet so he went. as he was going there he went past his dads room he saw his dads cover moving and said "dad what are you doing?" his dad said "i'm playing cards" johnny said "with who?" he replied with ur mum. anyway as he was going back to his room and went past his sisters room and saw her covers moving and asked the same thing. his sister replied "i'm playing cards with my boyfriend". his dad walked past johnny's room 2hrs later to go downstairs and saw johnny's covers moving and said "what are you doing?"johnny replied i'm playing cards" "how?" said his dad. johnny replied "if you have a good hand you don't need anyone to play with!"

A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves. A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop full of customers and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves. A week later, the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop an says, "About an hour and half." The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes." In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?" Bill looked up and said, "To your house."

This guy went to hospital for a circumcision, but because of a mix up, he ended up having a complete sex change.

All of the doctors and nurses had gathered around his bed as he was waking up so they could give him the bad news.

Naturally, the poor guy went to pieces and started crying when they explained what had happened to him.

"Oh no!" he moaned, "this means I'll never be able to experience an erection ever again!"

"Of course you will," one of the doctors soothed. It'll just have to be someone else's, that's all."