Two old ladies have played bridge together for many years, and naturally they have gotten to know each other pretty well. One day, during a game of cards, one lady suddenly looks up at the other and says, "I realize we've known each other for many years, but for the life of me, I just can't bring it to mind... would you please tell me your name again, dear?" There is dead silence for a couple of minutes, then the other lady responds, "How soon do you need to know?"

Other

Old ladiesTwo old ladies have played bridge...Hudo, before 6 year11.002 views12 comments
An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."

Couples

Marrige proposalAn elderly widow and widower were...Hudo, before 6 year14.464 views10 comments
Three girls are stuck in a desert a blonde, a red head, and a brunette, and then the find a magic lamp and they each have 1 wish, the red head says a life time supply of water, the brunette says food and shelter... and the blonde say a car door so i can roll down the window and feel the breeze!

Other

The Red Head, the Brunette, and the BlondeThree girls are stuck in a desert a...Carlie Angel..., before 6 year38.518 views16 comments
Ai Bang Mai Ne: I bumped into the coffee table

Chin Tu Fat: You need a face lift

Gun Pao Der: An ancient Chinese invention

Hu Flung Dung: Which one of you fertilized the field?

Hu Yu Hai Ding: We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive

Jan Ne Ka Sun: A former late night talk show host

Kum Hia: Approach me

Lao Ze Sho: Gilligan's Island

Lao Ze: Not very good

Lin Ching: An illegal execution

Moon Lan Ding: A great achievement of the American space program

Ne Ahn: A lighting fixture used in advertising signs

Shai Gai: A bashful person

Tai Ne Bae Be: A premature infant

Tai Ne Po Ne: A small horse

Ten Ding Ba: Serving drinks to people

Wan Bum Lung: A person with T.B.

Yu Mai Te Tan: Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you

Wa Shing Kah: Cleaning an automobile

Wai So Dim: Are you trying to save electricity?

Wai U Shao Ting: There is no reason to raise your voice

Ethnic

Translation of chinese phrasesAi Bang Mai Ne: I bumped into the...Hudo.com, before 6 year13.211 views13 comments
Why were the basketball players really wet ?

Because they were dribbling! :]

Sports

Best joke ever !!!Why were the basketball players...kreilly1970, before 8 year4.130 views0 comments
A police officer pulls over a man suspected of drunk driving.
Officer: Sir, is that beer?
Drunk: No, it's water.
Officer: Sir, is that wine?
Drunk: *Holds up wine bottle and shouts to the sky* PRAISE THE LORD AND HIS MIRACLES!

Get it?

Other

Traffic StopA police officer pulls over a man...onyixdragon, before 8 year4.138 views2 comments
Once there were three boys: Trouble, Shutup, and Manners. One day, Trouble went missing. Shutup and Manners decided to look for him. They came to the police station, but Manners got shy and stayed outside while Shutup entered the station. A cop walked over to him and asked, "What's your name?" "Shutup," answered Shutup. "Where's your manners?" Demanded the officer. "Outside." Furious, the cop growled, "Are you looking for trouble?" "Yes." replied Shutup.

Naughty

He heard you wrongOnce there were three boys: Trouble,...Jayena Li, before 8 year4.142 views4 comments
Ronnie, McAllen, Jimmy, Bobby and Steve lived together with their mother. One day, Jimmy called his mom. "Mom!" he shouted. His mother came running. "What's wrong, sweetie?" she asked. "I flushed a bomb down the toilet," he replied. At the same moment, a loud crackle came from the bathroom. His mom ran to fix the toilet. Fortuantely, there where still 7 bathrooms left, and 6 more bombs. The next day, Ronnie wailed, "Mommy! I flushed a bomb down the toilet!" And so his mother darted towards the second bathroom and fixed it. The day after, McAllen screamed, "Mom! I flushed a bomb down the toilet!" His mother slapped her face with her hand, but still rushed towards the restroom and fixed it again. After that day, Steve hollered, "Mommy! I flushed a bomb down the toilet!" And the poor mother sped to the bathroom and fixed it.

A day later, Bobby yelled, "Mommy!" His mother hurried towards him, sweat dripping from her forehead. "What is it, honey? Don't tell me you flushed a bomb down the toilet." "No mommy." Bobby said, smiling. "A fly caught a spider and I tried to get the fly and I fell and burped and the cat barked and farted up the tree and the dog meowed and puked and ran to the middle of the road and got crushed by a Jeep."

Naughty

When you put a bomb in a toiletRonnie, McAllen, Jimmy, Bobby and...Jayena Li, before 8 year3.705 views2 comments
Show more jokesLoading ...

Golden sponsors

Silver sponsors

Media partners